Most funerals and memorials are led by a celebrant (sometimes called an “officiant”), though there is nothing to stop you doing it yourself or asking a friend or relative. Celebrants fall into the following broad categories:
- Religious leader, for example a priest, imam or rabbi.
- Civil celebrant, someone not affiliated to a religious group. The majority of these belong to one of several organisations that train celebrants, for example Civil Ceremonies Ltd, although some specifically identify themselves as “independent”.
- Humanist celebrant (like me). Someone trained and accredited by Humanists UK to lead non-religious ceremonies.
In practise there is a lot of overlap between these groups. For example, some religious leaders are very good at making people from other faiths and the non-religious welcome at their services (sometimes patronisingly described as “God lite”). Civil celebrants are generally happy to include both religious and non-religious elements, depending on the client, while humanist celebrants vary with some (like me) having a fairly laid back attitude, while others seek to exclude any religious content. To add to the confusion there are some civil celebrants who describe themselves as “humanist” although not accredited by Humanists UK.
If you are a confident public speaker and know what you want in the service for your loved one, then leading the ceremony yourself could be a good option. This is actually how many celebrants begin their career. Alternatively, you can ask a celebrant to provide you with support, perhaps by simply “topping and tailing” the ceremony created by you and providing advice. I have supported next of kin in this way on several occasions and it usually works very well.
If you decide you do need a celebrant then personal recommendation from a trusted friend or relative is a good route to finding someone suitable. If you are using a funeral director then you can ask them to make a recommendation. Most funeral directors have lots of experience of the celebrants in their area, but bear in mind a funeral director’s idea of what makes a good celebrant may not be the same as yours. For example, they may prefer celebrants who they find easy to work with, rather than someone who is keen to offer the client lots of ideas and alternatives. Some funeral directors also lead services as well, but where this is offered you are under no obligation to accept it.
If you want to check out the local celebrants yourself then googling “funeral celebrant near me” should identify most of the established local celebrants, plus a few others. If you are specifically interested in a humanist celebrant then Humanist UK’s “find a celebrant” tool is also very good.
Whatever route you take to finding a celebrant don’t be afraid to ask searching questions before you make a final decision, including discussing how much they charge and whether they have testimonials they can show you. I am more than happy to be interviewed by a prospective client (usually by ‘phone or over the Internet) and to compete with other celebrants.