Funerals, Memorials & Celebrations of Life
If you are recently bereaved, then my thoughts are with you. There are so many decisions to make when someone dies it can be overwhelming. It’s easy to feel you have lost control and that organising the funeral has developed a momentum of its own, like you’ve been persuaded to book the Orient Express when you weren’t even sure you wanted to go by train.
If you are at that stage do give me a call – I am happy to provide advice and I won’t try to sell you anything.
Humanist funerals and memorials are for people who were non-religious or agnostic and focus on celebrating the life they lived. These ceremonies can take place in many different settings, including – crematoria, cemeteries, natural burial grounds, pubs, clubs, restaurants, and open spaces – anywhere that has resonance for the bereaved.
As a celebrant it’s my job to help you decide on the kind of ceremony you want, however traditional or wildly unconventional and help make it happen. I have lots of experience and excellent client feedback. I am open-minded and non-judgemental, and I take pride in helping families achieve a sense of having done justice to the memory of their loved one.
I am also trained in helping people to plan their own funerals and to lead “living funerals”.
Here’s a video of me in action –
Processes and Fees
Every ceremony is different, but the process typically works like this:
- We have an initial chat on the phone.
- I send you a questionnaire to help you start thinking about the ceremony.
- I come and meet you and other family members and friends to discuss the ceremony and gather information.
- I write a script and coordinate contributions from any other speakers.
- You check the script to make sure it is accurate and does justice to the occasion.
- I arrive early for the ceremony to greet mourners and/or help with set up.
- I lead the ceremony and give you a printed and pdf copy of it after as a keepsake.
Funerals & Memorials
Ceremonies celebrating the life of someone who has died
Prices from £230
Funeral Planning & “Living Funerals”
Helping individuals to plan their own funerals, and ceremonies for people while they are living
Price by individual quotation (please contact me to discuss)
Ad Hoc Advice
Advice regarding what to do when someone dies
No charge
Included in My Fee
FAQs
What if I can’t afford your fee?
I keep my fees as low as I can, because I want as many families as possible to have access to a humanist funeral. That having been said I will consider offering a large discount to families who are facing financial hardship. If you think that’s you then get in touch, and I’ll see what I can do.
What is included in a humanist ceremony?
There is no standard humanist order of service so you can have pretty much anything you want that feels relevant to you, including music the person loved and poems or other readings. However, because the focus is on celebrating the person’s life, a significant part of the ceremony will typically comprise stories about them and the kind of person they were, often called “tributes” or “eulogies”.
Is it OK to have a hymn or a prayer?
Yes, of course. I won’t personally read or join in a prayer or sing a hymn (unless I like the tune) as I’m an atheist, but my firm belief is that funerals and memorials are for everyone who is touched by the death of a person, and it is not my role to tell people what should or shouldn’t be included.
What does the celebrant do at the ceremony?
Usually, it’s my job to act as a kind of master of ceremonies, introducing the ceremony and making sure things run smoothly. Typically, I am also the principal and sometimes the only speaker and I prepare the main tribute or eulogy based on notes taken at a meeting with the family. Some families though prefer to do most of the writing and speaking themselves, in which case my job is more that of a coordinator, adviser, and back-up reader who can step in on the day if it all gets too much for someone.
Are you employed by the family or the funeral director?
Most definitely by the family. I will sometimes be recommended by the funeral director and often the funeral director pays my fee and then includes it as a “disbursement” on the invoice they give to the family, but it’s still the family I work for and whose interests I represent.
What should we do after a direct cremation?
More and more families are opting for a direct or unattended cremation, leaving open the question of how to celebrate the life of the person who has died, if at all. The process of organising and holding a celebration can be a really positive act of remembrance and a helpful step in the grieving process. Of course you don’t need a celebrant for this, but it can help. I have lots of experience of these kinds of ceremonies and I am always happy to lead and coordinate them or just offer some advice and input.
How long will the ceremony last?
Crematoria have 40–60-minute time slots which necessitate a maximum ceremony length of 25-45 minutes, unless you book a so-called “double slot”. At other venues there is much more freedom and typical ceremonies last from around 30 minutes to an hour or sometimes longer, it’s really up to you.
Do I have to employ a celebrant?
No you don’t, there’s nothing to stop a family member or a friend leading a funeral or memorial for a loved one. See my blog post on whether you need a celebrant, the different types of celebrant and how to find one.